Scripture: 1Corinthians 13
So this is sermonette number 2 and it will be even shorter than sermonette number 1. But I do need to say a few words today about same-sex marriage, marriage equality, which is one of the topics that is much with us these days, isn’t it. Church conventions are talking about it. The Presbyterians are holding a national meeting in Richmond this coming week, and if same sex marriage is not officially on the agenda, I’m sure it will be talked about. Time magazine is talking about it. Pollsters take our pulse about it. The President’s talking about it. Government at all levels—national, state, local, courts, legislatures, governors, mayors. It’s a hot topic.
I don’t want to talk about same-sex marriage or any of the related issues as a hot topic. That’s not a right way to talk about it. It is a human topic that affects people’s lives and touches people’s hearts in very specific and sometimes heart-wrenching ways. I don’t think of this as a hot topic, but I do admit that part of the reason I’m talking about it today is that there is a particular timeliness and urgency because of the fact that the state of Virginia has passed a law, House Bill 751, otherwise referred to as the Affirmation of Marriage Act, that goes into effect in just a few days, on July 1. I am going to speak at the rally this Wednesday at the County Building, but I will only have a couple of minutes then. I wanted to take a few more minutes than that this morning, not to discuss the specifics of HB751—I’ll let Charlene and Linda do that—but to offer some remarks that come from the context of faith.
This is a complex issue isn’t it? It gets all wrapped up in the much larger debate about whether homosexuality is sinful, and that often gets wrapped in debates about the handful of passages in the Bible that seem to condemn homosexuality. And so I have read some discussions of the question of same-sex marriage that go into the Biblical material and take the position that allowing same-sex marriage would be a sanctioning of sin. And then the responses that take a different view of those same Biblical passages and offer different interpretations and offer an entirely different picture of what the Bible says and doesn’t say. And although I’m not as good at it as for instance Bishop Spong or Kathy Baker would be, I know it’s important to be able to respond to the idea that the Bible is unequivocal in condemning homosexuality, even though that discussion can sometimes get quite involved.
Then I have also read some rather involved discussions of the history of the institution of marriage. And I understand that since some people view their idea of marriage as having been fixed by God since the beginning of time, that it is also important to be aware that our ideas of marriage and family and the social forms of the family have changed a lot over time and that the family is in a constant state of flux and that changes in laws or customs relating to the family have happened before and will happen again and do not threaten the fundamental order of the universe, and can indeed be a good thing. All that is important to talk about, though those discussions too can become pretty involved.
As can discussions about such things as the difference, the philosophical and theological and legal difference between marriage and civil unions. As can the question of whether the church’s teachings and actions and attitudes about homosexuality have been consistent over time. As can a whole bunch of issues that relate directly or indirectly to same sex marriage. It’s a pretty complicated matter. I guess it is, from one perspective, lots of things to think about and sort out and be ready to discuss.
But from another angle, not really so very complicated at all. From where I sit, trying to ground myself in my faith and what it tells me we’re all about, I have to say that same sex marriage at its core is essentially a very simple question. You are probably aware that I don’t shy away from complexity. I like nuance. I appreciate paradox. I distrust simple answers to most questions that are worth asking. They are likely to be wrong. But in this case, my heart and my faith tell me that this is deep down a very simple matter.
Is there so much love in the world that we can afford to discourage it and make it more difficult? No. Is it my job as a person of faith to try to make the world a more loving place? Yes. Will preventing people who love each other from getting married whether they are of the same or different genders make the world a more loving place? No. On this issue, for me, those simple answers are the right ones.
I know there can be all sorts of ifs, ands, and buts raised. But, but, but some will say, what about what the Bible says about homosexuality. And we can talk about that, and we should talk about that, and I’m interested in what the Bible says, and for me it is an inexhaustible source of riches and I read the Bible and I study the Bible and I am in constant conversation with the Bible, but in the end my faith does not tell me that I am here to figure what the Bible says, to come up with the best Biblical interpretation or to defend the authority of the Bible. As I understand what my faith says to me, what God says to me, I am here to make the world a more loving place, to do that in whatever little ways I am able. I am also deeply drawn to the figure of Jesus, and I consider myself a disciple, but I am not here most fundamentally to proclaim Jesus Christ, but to try in my own very inadequate ways to make the world a more loving place. As a person of faith, I am not even here most fundamentally to demonstrate, to witness to, or argue for my belief in God. I am here to try, somehow, to make the world a little more loving. And as I said earlier, that makes the question of same sex marriage an easy one for me. We can do all the complicated things, but it will always in my way of being a person of faith come back to this.
I called these reflections “Love and Marriage”. It just popped into my mind—I’m dating myself now—because of a song from my childhood. If you remember it, you’re dating yourself. Love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage, this I tell you brother, you can’t have one without the other.
Unless, of course, you are gay, and then you must have one without the other. Not unlike lots of things we may say that are supposed to apply to everyone unless you are gay. We say the church needs more clergy. There is a shortage of people wanting to go into the ministry these days, pretty much across the board. So we need more ministers, unless you are gay. We don’t need you quite as much, maybe not at all.
I chose the scripture reading partly because it is so often read at weddings. It just seemed to go with the theme. But of course also because it is about love. And if we believe that love does abide, and if it is of all the virtues of our faith the greatest, then the answer as to whether same-sex marriages should be allowed, by the church or the state, is simple. The answer is…no. We should not just allow it. We should welcome it, celebrate it, honor it, rejoice in it. And this I believe to be the word of the Lord. Amen.
Jim Bundy
June 27, 2004